Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
