What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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