a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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