Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
