Having a random hookup so left but love u
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
