Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
being pregnant is like rehab
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
