C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
