she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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