her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
