How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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