Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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