Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
