i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
