I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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