I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
