you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
