you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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