No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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