"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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