So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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