Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dicks are not precious.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
