Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
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