peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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