hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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