found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
