I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
