i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize