Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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