Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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