How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
me + whiskey = a bad person
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
