i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
