I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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