no, he came in my armpit
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
