If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
