sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
