i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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