Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
