its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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