His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
