nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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