i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize