God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
