He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
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as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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