You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You made out with two different species that night
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
