Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize