My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
