You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I party with great urgency now.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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