Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
