Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
