Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
