Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize