I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
