Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
