last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
